On the issue of commitment, I have found that I am lacking. I often say, I want, but when it comes to committing, I am left wanting. Let's take gym, for example. I decide one day that I want to have the best body I can with what God gave me. On the first day, the idea is so welcoming that I can't understand why I did not think of it before - eat six small meals a day, do weight training and cardiovascular training on alternate days for only 45 minutes at a time, drink at least 2l of water a day and voila! You have it made. Right? Wrong!

There is coffee and cream I have a weakness for - I blame it on my German ancestry - nothing like a hot and creamy cuppa in the afternoon! And dunking cookies in your cup is simply a must if anyone offers them - I blame that weakness on my South African heritage. But having temptations is part of the training. Why do we look up to models and actors whose bodies are seemingly perfect? Are we being simple-minded and superficial, or do we admire their bodies because we know the commitment it takes to have a body that is picture-perfect? Do those with slim bodies not have such immense self-discipline that they deserve the praise because they deny their cravings? Admittedly, not everyone who has a perfect body got there through hard training alone. There are definitely some genetic and environmental factors involved, but everyone has heard of the cliche: Mind over Matter.

I decided not to want to have the body of the hottest chick in the gym because with her body comes her mind, heart and soul, and those parts of me I do not want to lose. I don't want her life, I just want to be as driven as she is to have the best body I can have. Often times we beat ourselves up with our thoughts when we eat something that we know is unhealthy. We often ignite thoughts that lead to a loss of motivation because our thoughts can dig our own grave. Rather than allowing these thoughts to embed themselves in our minds, we should take these thoughts and place them where they can work in our favour - in the gym. We can build muscle, stretch muscle and sweat it out. We can commit. What makes you commit? Conviction that you will feel better, be a more productive and confident person, and that you can be everything you can be without holding back, regretting or pitying yourself.

Resolved.

"Where do I begin?" I asked.
"Never at the beginning," He replied.
"That helps!"
"Doesn't it?"
"It does."

"What are you afraid of?" He asked.
"People will read my thoughts. They will read my thoughts because I am allowing them to."
"What is the worst that can happen?"
"I don't know."
"The unknown is the source of your fear...It is grounded."
"That helps."
"Doesn't it?"
"It does."

"What if no one reads them, or worse, if no one cares for them?" I asked.
"Then you are practising self-therapy."
"What am I trying to deal with?"
"Life."
"Ah yes! That narrows it down."
"Doesn't it?"
"It does."

It is difficult for me to think of loving someone so much that I would die for them. It is hard to imagine that I could be that unselfish. It is hard, but not impossible.

Our humanness makes it possilbe for us to understand each other. Regardless of the language we speak, we can understand each other because we share feelings. We live life, and no matter the circumstances, the human thread is unavoidable.

My goal this year is to love someone more than myself, or at least as much. My question to you: what can be my measure of success?